We have been traveling a bit this summer and although I had hoped for some kind of inner change for the better or from some meaningful human encounters, I had to put that aside and be grateful for the nice trip and weather, for the surroundings and the smooth trip. The rest is just a bowlful of questions.
Is is me or the others feeling blocked and unsettled? Is it a real state of the mind and soul or just an induced state that separates us from the happiness at hand?
Seems like many people have the same concerns, the same yearning for a more accomplished life, for something hard to define, rather defined by its not being there. Yet instead of uniting them, this interior agitation is separating them. It is hard to trust another human being, it is hard to count on something to be there constantly - this permanent quest makes everybody opportunistic in many ways. Some will change for the money, some for a social position, some are still trying painfully to find themselves and will be different from period to period, as they go through different stages, like Picasso with his paintings.
The clearest image I found was in the case of some people who complained of poverty and lack of horizon, seemed to be very economical in their household and yet spoke of having a monthly income that amazed me: it was big. Simple people, not many social expenses, living in the countryside. I cannot understand why the revenue cannot provide a happier life in such cases - what is missing? Maybe I am prejudiced. I assume that for the down to earth - ier people having a functional material security would be enough or I am assuming that if my life would have the material problem solved then I would get rid of many sleepless nights. Yet I have an organic issue that is the most difficult to solve in our times, and that got me an obstinacy against the superficial ways that would not tackle this: I want to do something I love, something that makes me happy and forget about the hours passing by and integrate this in my family life, whilst not being materially challenged.
Why this isn't yet an option remains another question. Years spent in the wrong schools, which taught me nothing about life, wrong thinking patterns, wrong moments... some of the available explanations send me in an endless loop. I also have a fixation with authenticity and it still seems weird to me to hear about some weird jobs where one does not produce, does not shine towards the world, but rather intermediates, speculates on people's wishes or even creates needs of wishes to be solved by him or her. It's like money are meant to go from where they are to other pockets only based on motives of fashion, whim, ego or treating oneself, rather that based on serious, sustainable reasons. It's like, no, I will not buy a wooden box made by hand which hold in it a precious effort of being unique and putting some soul into the work, but I will buy that colored plastic box that is so in this summer... Why on earth do we have to keep thinking like this? And the sister of the plastic box is the propagandistic ecological wooden box with an exorbitant cost, which is also bought not for the utility or for the personality of its maker, but for the ideas which it represents. Ideas which, I am sorry to say, are speculated by many in the ecological field, like any other ideas ever. Like people who do not make themselves the products, but add some color on some mass made Chinese boxes, or exploit some poor underpaid peasants whose village offers them no other workplace besides the little wood shop of Mr. Natural. Then the owner of the business goes on and uses the money in his fashionable life which comprises in many cases also plastic boxes...
It's like people have gotten used to being cheated, lobbied, targeted by publicity and propaganda that they expect this whenever doing something. The small and quiet shop in the corner that does not fight to attract customers, but just has good merchandise is not visited by almost anyone in our days. We are mass thinking even in the alternative or so called alternative actions.
So unhappy people with no horizon and money in the bank are not initiating any measure for the better, they just stay and wait for someone to take their money. For a bad cause of a good cause. But I still say this is a step back for the human nature. Instead of the basic needs, we now have basic needs plus being in with the trend. And those who make the trends are always unclear, and ultimately most of the trends are made having means of profit behind. And footballers and dancers and singers are admired like gods, while those who find it hard to lie and label themselves in an attractive way and play the complicated games of our society are pushed into oblivion. A good soul, a natural rough talent value nothing, instead a shiny exterior, a clever trick and lots of work make everything. Sometimes even without the work, but that element is not to brag about, because it is not good for the public image... The public are the masses who have to believe, to buy and to go on with their tedious duties, so they are presented idols who somehow worked their way to glory or idols who embody all the secret sins in every person: lazy, talking dirty, overeating, hating their enemies and worse.
So again why? Why can we realize things as they are, many of us, yet we are incapable of doing anything else but act some behaviors that are mass imprinted? Isn't it freaky, for example, that in an industrial small city for example, everyone who is the same age, say 60, had a similar life trajectory - got hired by the factory at say 19, then got laid off at 30 something, worked to some other nearby factory etc? We are beings, not cattle.It is impossible that in a lifespan such a city had not produced a musician, a painter, a farmer, a writer, a traveler, a philanthropist... only that what they were meant to be was lost in the mass idea: these people are going to work in this factory, some plain workers, some engineers...
Now the mass behavior is dividing people in a dangerous way. Those who are apparently happy or without a worry in the world consume huge amounts of everything and practically throw their money away, as if one moment of savings would lose them the statue of stress free and rich; those who do not like their lives with every pore of their skin are grumpy and desperate - some of them unfortunately wish to get into the first category, some have joined the underdogs groups available in order to be unhappy in a group. And the media throws to them subject after subject on which they should and would hate each other, to keep them occupied.
Who will change the world for the better then? Not a new generation of fanatics, on any chosen subject... Not the people afraid to disagree with their group who guarantees them some social position and revenues, for fear of incertitudes and falling down the social ladders. Not those who forcibly take for granted that we should be all thinking alike...
Are we just rerunning the 70's? The freedom generation produced in their children an antagonistic reaction and generation of suits wishing order and discipline. not the solution either - that what?
The regulating factor of society have unfortunately sold out: churches kindly approving in their notorious members stealing and behaving in a way that cannot serve as example, communities who are still friendly towards the local politician who ruined their livelihoods, writers and philosophers who had to write appealing to the public or else nobody deals their books. One way or another selling out is also a trend... followed by an elaborate personal cover up in order to be happier with what we have become. And a herd of personal trainers to help us with that (talking about made-up professions who produce what? an artificial conscience silencing?).
Can't anyone remember that a functional society has to have and respect rules meant for the well being of a average imaginary person, a person who can be naive and still survive, who can be without work for a while and still survive, who can refuse to make managerial, financial, ecological and administrative major choices because it is not his profession to do so and still wake up tomorrow and have a safe medium to live in? With a reasonable space for the particulars individuals, upwards or downwards from this middle point, but concentrated on this safe space, this middle space where one could live peacefully.
Why do we have to have emotional and aggressive societies, advantageous for the rich, or only for the poor (although I think this was only an utopia), for those who are incessantly forced to choose in order to justify their existence? Why do I have to chose in a store because toxic foods are also there, near healthy ones? Why am I expected to intervene in the jobs of the too many state and people representatives even though they are paid to take care of a society and I am not?
Why do I always find that I have to be for or against something or else... while in the everyday life one also has to be an economist, a cook, a cleaning person, an IT person, a repairman, a constructor, a parent, an educator and so many other things because we are all specialized in everything and in nothing, all are so expensive and the time is insufficient?
This overestimated hands on intervention of normal people in leading their own societal organism is a false solution, or rather just a diversion. For such a solution we need first to be educated in smaller groups while growing up. Pushing such an attitude now it's like you are pumping up someone to believe that he can be a football scorer and a goalkeeper in the same time. How can this be? It's like a mental illness, only the patient is our society.
Why can't I pick up the pieces of my own life? Who is supposed to see clear what is right and wrong in what I am doing or not doing.
I am afraid the answer lies somewhere in the region of the heart, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is an organ that had shut in itself inside our superficial chests and from which we have, beside its physical functions, only vague memories...
Feel, such a hard thing to do...
Showing posts with label society. Show all posts
Showing posts with label society. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 September 2013
Monday, 20 May 2013
Layers
I have reached a point where, although I may deduct there are more layers in my personality and spirit than I have had the opportunity to see so far, I estimate, out of fixed factors such as mathematics, probabilistic ans sociology, that those other layers, yet undeveloped and unsolicited (and I am talking here about positive may-have-beens) will probably remain dormant forever.
We are complex beings, yet we have after all a fixed (once it belongs to the past), one way path through this life. Whatever our dreams might be, the reality we have chosen (aware or not of our choices) pins us down year after year and offers no possibility of ever drawing a line and judging for ourselves how far have we strayed from what we could have been. We can never see our alternative paths followed, for comparison and we can never see ourselves and our ripples in the greater picture, made of the people we have met and affected in one way or another.
It is nostalgic and pensive though to get even a vague glimpse of what there is unawakened in us, of what echoes some other circumstances of life can produce inside the big human temple each of us is. it is like feeling in the dark a bouquet of possibilities, but without... strength (?) ... luck (?) we can never make be what it might be... we cannot feel on the real, authentic track with our life.
The limitations make sure of that, of the "not"-s in one's life. There are many: outer limitations (first the thoughts of them made me create this new post), and inner limitations - the trickiest. For if we may shake ourselves of the false ideas surrounding us socially, we have layer upon layer of delusion on the inside, and many breakthroughs and shedding of a layer prove to be just another new crust, as unsatisfactory as the other.
Even this feeling of unaccomplished, of wasting the time with struggling to grow up, defend oneself from tough situations, with the many mundane activities that seem to go nowhere can be ambiguous: is it a spiritual or mental exhaustion or is it for real a grasp of the difference between what it is and what it could or should be somebody's life?
I will choose the second option, at least for the purpose of this post, based on the same ambivalence I used to have with how things taste. Nothing from the foods I ate as a grown-up tasted objectively great (meaning that here I am not taking into consideration how food tasted after a long time of not eating), and discussing this with others who felt the same I met the theory that the phenomena is due to the changes that distinguish an adult taste buds from a child's. I kind of resigned myself to believe this, until, one day, I traveled in an area new to me and I found the good old tastes in some of the foods there (mind you, moderately expensive foods). My taste buds were OK, yet the food had gradually changed over the years and it basically became slop. Yet the generally accepted belief was that the grownups loose their capacity of enjoying such a basic element of life because ... they became adults. It is easier this way, presenting the fact as a truism would generate no consequences, only limited nostalgia. No panic about where is this world heading, and why generation after generation we feel like we are loosing something instead of gaining...
To get to my initial meaning of layers that I had in mind - it was that of social layers. These, regardless of politics and regime, are pretty well sedimented, and usually those who treat societies as machineries need to be able to count on their sedimentation. Meaning that a person born middle class (if this still exists, although in some countries is considered almost extinguished), it will most likely remain middle class, even if the benefits of this statute will vary over the span of its lifetime. Because it is brought up to think middle class, and the only elevator upwards would be the educational system, which stopped being free long time ago. There are always exceptions, but the way we respond to the medium while being children is so deeply in the core of our personality that we may choose to be different, yet underneath that is the emergency way of thinking and being - the one we developed in.
There are times in history when the societal layers open up "for ventilation", and for a brief period of time people can go up or down, and create a change of life for them (on the outer side) and for their offspring (this time also on the inside). I have seen such "successful" people, unhappy at the core, because they were transplanted in a completely strange medium to the one they have grown up in, yet forcing themselves to look adapted and natural, in order to support this leap for their children. The jump, I think, can be easier when it is a group jump, and those who were once in similar conditions now share the new place in society and also their feeling of eternally being disparaged. Probably that is why some of the simplest types tend to gather their extended family around in such situations, sometimes with negative effects, like for example creating groups of influence, and isles of friends and family that clog the circulation in the new area of work or living they are in. Many of the unpleasant ordinary people that have found themselves thrown into money and functions after living a simple childhood are not mean people to start with - they just don't cope with changing the "layers". Some adapt better their exterior appearance and habits, by copying what they perceive around them in the new surroundings. Some not. Usually when large groups change layers by a twist of history the effects are disastrous, like in the communism experiment. Yet I would rather consider that the communism was a conducted experiment, based on some ideas applied in a very debatable manner, yet ideas, shifted around in order to offer decoys from the feeling of panic generated by the ordinary people who had changed the societal layer.
Take a couple of these historical moments, and one can see how the world is like a huge selector of people. random or not, these changes, these "mix and spread" type moments, leave their marks for the future. What were my many ancestors doing during the world wars? Were they peasants, merchants, soldiers, were they migrating from a land to another? How was their layering, inside and out?
I am not inclined towards genetic determinism, not even social determinism, though it might seem so. I am merely considering what chance does an individual have during its own lifetime of becoming "himself", provided he has first to overcome a disadvantageous role in life? I think there exist waisted spirits or souls just because society is not curious about the "newcomers", but rather obstinately occupied with preserving a pretty inequitable status quo. When some have too much and they got it all figured out for their offspring, for generations, others have nothing and others waist their lives struggling in between, and the bridges between the societal layers have been blown off or reduced to the abilities of being slick and pretense in order to make believe, clearly we are over the top going downhill as mankind, or someone is foolish enough to play God here on Earth.
Those who have should not be obsessed with how dangerous it is to relinquish some of their money and power in order to ensure a common ground of well being for the entire bottom layer, and in order to open up some permanent channels in between all the classes. History will repeat itself otherwise, and with unpleasant hiccups would mix and spread again. Or maybe this is being prevented by false pressure valves - that is also possible. But even so, gradually we will be out of great minds and great souls. Already many who are at the top smell like "plastic", are fake and boring. Many of the remaining thinkers are bored and dry, or tend to resemble walking computers. Keeping the lid tightly closed produces this infusion of non-quality and boredom. Fear is the base of this status quo enforced on society, the fear of those who are not happy being where they shouldn't be, yet they would rather feel lavishly secure than try to discover their real place in life and leave their post to maybe another, whose destiny is to be there.
Of course I am biased. I think with my personal brain, therefore subjective. I witnessed a societal upheaval during my life, real or apparent, i tend to say both, in different percentages, but I could not change my layer... not the right age. I was just a spectator, and then the valve closed, and maybe I did not wanted to accept how stuck I am for years and years. Stuck in my way of thinking, in my limited schooling which waisted years of my life during which the best results were redundant, because nobody followed through; stuck in my ideas, in my impressions about myself, in my hopes. then later in my dreams who faded away and became poorer and poorer. I can't help functioning in a certain way with my mind and soul, but this way is of very little use in the layer I am in.
Or maybe I geographically kid myself, once more, and I am just lonely, in a niche somewhere, where the only advantage was that look towards some things, rather than being immersed in the same things with no time to look or think too much.
Oh well, it is spring once again, and the sun is still free, and the vast and useless information on the Internet creates the empty sensation of community with the world - like a fool's gold...
We are complex beings, yet we have after all a fixed (once it belongs to the past), one way path through this life. Whatever our dreams might be, the reality we have chosen (aware or not of our choices) pins us down year after year and offers no possibility of ever drawing a line and judging for ourselves how far have we strayed from what we could have been. We can never see our alternative paths followed, for comparison and we can never see ourselves and our ripples in the greater picture, made of the people we have met and affected in one way or another.
It is nostalgic and pensive though to get even a vague glimpse of what there is unawakened in us, of what echoes some other circumstances of life can produce inside the big human temple each of us is. it is like feeling in the dark a bouquet of possibilities, but without... strength (?) ... luck (?) we can never make be what it might be... we cannot feel on the real, authentic track with our life.
The limitations make sure of that, of the "not"-s in one's life. There are many: outer limitations (first the thoughts of them made me create this new post), and inner limitations - the trickiest. For if we may shake ourselves of the false ideas surrounding us socially, we have layer upon layer of delusion on the inside, and many breakthroughs and shedding of a layer prove to be just another new crust, as unsatisfactory as the other.
Even this feeling of unaccomplished, of wasting the time with struggling to grow up, defend oneself from tough situations, with the many mundane activities that seem to go nowhere can be ambiguous: is it a spiritual or mental exhaustion or is it for real a grasp of the difference between what it is and what it could or should be somebody's life?
I will choose the second option, at least for the purpose of this post, based on the same ambivalence I used to have with how things taste. Nothing from the foods I ate as a grown-up tasted objectively great (meaning that here I am not taking into consideration how food tasted after a long time of not eating), and discussing this with others who felt the same I met the theory that the phenomena is due to the changes that distinguish an adult taste buds from a child's. I kind of resigned myself to believe this, until, one day, I traveled in an area new to me and I found the good old tastes in some of the foods there (mind you, moderately expensive foods). My taste buds were OK, yet the food had gradually changed over the years and it basically became slop. Yet the generally accepted belief was that the grownups loose their capacity of enjoying such a basic element of life because ... they became adults. It is easier this way, presenting the fact as a truism would generate no consequences, only limited nostalgia. No panic about where is this world heading, and why generation after generation we feel like we are loosing something instead of gaining...
To get to my initial meaning of layers that I had in mind - it was that of social layers. These, regardless of politics and regime, are pretty well sedimented, and usually those who treat societies as machineries need to be able to count on their sedimentation. Meaning that a person born middle class (if this still exists, although in some countries is considered almost extinguished), it will most likely remain middle class, even if the benefits of this statute will vary over the span of its lifetime. Because it is brought up to think middle class, and the only elevator upwards would be the educational system, which stopped being free long time ago. There are always exceptions, but the way we respond to the medium while being children is so deeply in the core of our personality that we may choose to be different, yet underneath that is the emergency way of thinking and being - the one we developed in.
There are times in history when the societal layers open up "for ventilation", and for a brief period of time people can go up or down, and create a change of life for them (on the outer side) and for their offspring (this time also on the inside). I have seen such "successful" people, unhappy at the core, because they were transplanted in a completely strange medium to the one they have grown up in, yet forcing themselves to look adapted and natural, in order to support this leap for their children. The jump, I think, can be easier when it is a group jump, and those who were once in similar conditions now share the new place in society and also their feeling of eternally being disparaged. Probably that is why some of the simplest types tend to gather their extended family around in such situations, sometimes with negative effects, like for example creating groups of influence, and isles of friends and family that clog the circulation in the new area of work or living they are in. Many of the unpleasant ordinary people that have found themselves thrown into money and functions after living a simple childhood are not mean people to start with - they just don't cope with changing the "layers". Some adapt better their exterior appearance and habits, by copying what they perceive around them in the new surroundings. Some not. Usually when large groups change layers by a twist of history the effects are disastrous, like in the communism experiment. Yet I would rather consider that the communism was a conducted experiment, based on some ideas applied in a very debatable manner, yet ideas, shifted around in order to offer decoys from the feeling of panic generated by the ordinary people who had changed the societal layer.
Take a couple of these historical moments, and one can see how the world is like a huge selector of people. random or not, these changes, these "mix and spread" type moments, leave their marks for the future. What were my many ancestors doing during the world wars? Were they peasants, merchants, soldiers, were they migrating from a land to another? How was their layering, inside and out?
I am not inclined towards genetic determinism, not even social determinism, though it might seem so. I am merely considering what chance does an individual have during its own lifetime of becoming "himself", provided he has first to overcome a disadvantageous role in life? I think there exist waisted spirits or souls just because society is not curious about the "newcomers", but rather obstinately occupied with preserving a pretty inequitable status quo. When some have too much and they got it all figured out for their offspring, for generations, others have nothing and others waist their lives struggling in between, and the bridges between the societal layers have been blown off or reduced to the abilities of being slick and pretense in order to make believe, clearly we are over the top going downhill as mankind, or someone is foolish enough to play God here on Earth.
Those who have should not be obsessed with how dangerous it is to relinquish some of their money and power in order to ensure a common ground of well being for the entire bottom layer, and in order to open up some permanent channels in between all the classes. History will repeat itself otherwise, and with unpleasant hiccups would mix and spread again. Or maybe this is being prevented by false pressure valves - that is also possible. But even so, gradually we will be out of great minds and great souls. Already many who are at the top smell like "plastic", are fake and boring. Many of the remaining thinkers are bored and dry, or tend to resemble walking computers. Keeping the lid tightly closed produces this infusion of non-quality and boredom. Fear is the base of this status quo enforced on society, the fear of those who are not happy being where they shouldn't be, yet they would rather feel lavishly secure than try to discover their real place in life and leave their post to maybe another, whose destiny is to be there.
Of course I am biased. I think with my personal brain, therefore subjective. I witnessed a societal upheaval during my life, real or apparent, i tend to say both, in different percentages, but I could not change my layer... not the right age. I was just a spectator, and then the valve closed, and maybe I did not wanted to accept how stuck I am for years and years. Stuck in my way of thinking, in my limited schooling which waisted years of my life during which the best results were redundant, because nobody followed through; stuck in my ideas, in my impressions about myself, in my hopes. then later in my dreams who faded away and became poorer and poorer. I can't help functioning in a certain way with my mind and soul, but this way is of very little use in the layer I am in.
Or maybe I geographically kid myself, once more, and I am just lonely, in a niche somewhere, where the only advantage was that look towards some things, rather than being immersed in the same things with no time to look or think too much.
Oh well, it is spring once again, and the sun is still free, and the vast and useless information on the Internet creates the empty sensation of community with the world - like a fool's gold...
Sunday, 21 October 2012
The value of dislike
On Facebook, we are able to express out opinions or our presence only by no action or by using the like button. The comments are nor here nor there, but negative comments can be considered trolling - I am not sure who establishes the thin line here between not agreeing and being offensive. Anyway, the mighty button is oriented versus "Like" and this might be not just a random thing. People are forcibly pushed towards tolerating everything and being ashamed of not liking stuff. The dis-likers must be mute and ashamed of themselves...
Well, disagreeing verbally or in a written comment is not such a bad thing - it is an educated form of expressing an opinion, and it can lead to clearing up repressed feelings, that otherwise would miscellaneously erupt or would distort people bit by bit. Being able to dislike things or people in a social, acceptable manner actually is a valuable asset. It is against the current of nowadays, I admit. But the humanity should be sincere. If on the inside we are not at the point of being a huge fraternity, we shouldn't lie about it on the outside. Yet, it is recommended to be optimistic, tolerant, polite and as much as possible emphasize one's connections to the others rather than one's particularities, but more important that all these should be honesty. If someone feels different, his thoughts and reasoning should come to the surface...
Not to be content is a right for whose expression people fought in different times. Without the "not content" ones how could the world have changed time and time again? Inventions have appeared because someone had not been content with the speed of the horse cart, with the light of a torch, with the rules already established. It is the circle of life that the ex-criticizers become the new critique-es.
The right to speak your heart or to not be content is sold in our days, is renounced because people are entangled in circles. It kind of goes without saying that we should like the policies of the company we work for, its sympathies and its friends, or of the person who in a corrupt system manages to help us with a problem, or that we should adopt gradually the ideas that prevail in the city, neighborhood or family we are in. It's a big no-no to have an independent stand and sadly it is completely uninteresting for the other people. The disliker is not even raising curiosity, and the modern psychology took care of that by labeling this attitude as one of social failure and attributing dark possible reasons to it.
Sometimes I do not like my own outcome, sometimes the things others do. Some other times, I do not even like other specific people, and this is not out of rudeness, it is an educated dislike. And it is my right and the right of each of us. We kind of use it anyway, so why be hypocrite about it? Why pretend we are the number one fan of all and anyone whom we meet and fill ourselves with resentments meanwhile...
A healthy - expressed dislike has its own value and it is a way to be sincere and to part the water around us and see the path towards the ones we share opinions with, towards the ones whom we naturally like and we feel comfortable around because we can be ourselves in their presence.
Well, disagreeing verbally or in a written comment is not such a bad thing - it is an educated form of expressing an opinion, and it can lead to clearing up repressed feelings, that otherwise would miscellaneously erupt or would distort people bit by bit. Being able to dislike things or people in a social, acceptable manner actually is a valuable asset. It is against the current of nowadays, I admit. But the humanity should be sincere. If on the inside we are not at the point of being a huge fraternity, we shouldn't lie about it on the outside. Yet, it is recommended to be optimistic, tolerant, polite and as much as possible emphasize one's connections to the others rather than one's particularities, but more important that all these should be honesty. If someone feels different, his thoughts and reasoning should come to the surface...
Not to be content is a right for whose expression people fought in different times. Without the "not content" ones how could the world have changed time and time again? Inventions have appeared because someone had not been content with the speed of the horse cart, with the light of a torch, with the rules already established. It is the circle of life that the ex-criticizers become the new critique-es.
The right to speak your heart or to not be content is sold in our days, is renounced because people are entangled in circles. It kind of goes without saying that we should like the policies of the company we work for, its sympathies and its friends, or of the person who in a corrupt system manages to help us with a problem, or that we should adopt gradually the ideas that prevail in the city, neighborhood or family we are in. It's a big no-no to have an independent stand and sadly it is completely uninteresting for the other people. The disliker is not even raising curiosity, and the modern psychology took care of that by labeling this attitude as one of social failure and attributing dark possible reasons to it.
Sometimes I do not like my own outcome, sometimes the things others do. Some other times, I do not even like other specific people, and this is not out of rudeness, it is an educated dislike. And it is my right and the right of each of us. We kind of use it anyway, so why be hypocrite about it? Why pretend we are the number one fan of all and anyone whom we meet and fill ourselves with resentments meanwhile...
A healthy - expressed dislike has its own value and it is a way to be sincere and to part the water around us and see the path towards the ones we share opinions with, towards the ones whom we naturally like and we feel comfortable around because we can be ourselves in their presence.
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