Dick van Dyke Show, Mary Tyler Moore Show and the modern sitcoms

Having watched at least partially some older sitcoms like the ones mentioned in the title, besides their old-fashioned charm, it seems obvious (to come back to an older theme, where I discussed the resemblance between older and modern actors) that the jokes and plots are often to be found in the newer sitcoms, like Seinfeld and Friends, aka newer and famous sitcoms.

I suppose it all comes from the old tradition of Borscht Belt entertainment, and that type of humor just gets updated with time. Or that it gets harder and harder to be original nowadays. The modern humor, nevertheless likable, is more a result of a mending process that of a creation process. It figures, since life gets somehow sadder and more monotonous by decade. With all the politically correctness obsession, the tolerance and the "being good and unoffensive" dogmas, the original humor has a hard life in our times...

Examples:  the gag with one character having a bath and the others coming in on his relaxing moment and turning it into an embarrassing, funny one - in MTM season 7 and in Friends; the idea of a character who finally writes down his memoirs/ life  and they actually become the sitcom we are watching - in DvD Show and in Seinfeld; the presence of a witty character which "zings" the other with his sharp and mean observations and who suffers when he must pause this habit - MTM Show (Murray and Ted) and Friends (Chandler and his New Year Resolution). The connections are frequent and punctual. Often one can exclaim: "just like in X or Y series!". They are hard to remember once a lot are gathered, that it why they pass into the "movie world subconscious".

This is a term I made up in order to denominate that area in our thoughts were all the movie experiences, all the empathic impressions we gather from the cinematographic experience, all the preconceptions related to some facial type or other resulting from a certain casting stereotype that we resent from seeing this or that movie gather and form a base we are hardly aware of, but which acts in the way that we suddenly feel attracted of repulsed by some places, ideas or people without having had any real previous experience on which those reactions would be based. We are in fact reacting to a false experience gathered from the cinematographic culture we have been exposed to.

The value of dislike

On Facebook, we are able to express out opinions or our presence only by no action or by using the like button. The comments are nor here nor there, but negative comments can be considered trolling - I am not sure who establishes the thin line here between not agreeing and being offensive. Anyway, the mighty button is oriented versus "Like" and this might be not just a random thing. People are forcibly pushed towards tolerating everything and being ashamed of not liking stuff. The dis-likers must be mute and ashamed of themselves...

Well, disagreeing verbally or in a written comment is not such a bad thing - it is an educated form of expressing an opinion, and it can lead to clearing up repressed feelings, that otherwise would miscellaneously erupt or would distort people bit by bit. Being able to dislike things or people in a social, acceptable manner  actually is a valuable asset. It is against the current of nowadays, I admit. But the humanity should be sincere. If on the inside we are not at the point of being a huge fraternity, we shouldn't lie about it on the outside.  Yet, it is recommended to be optimistic, tolerant, polite and as much as possible emphasize one's connections to the others rather than one's particularities, but more important that all these should be honesty. If someone feels different, his thoughts and reasoning should come to the surface...

Not to be content is a right for whose expression people fought in different times. Without the "not content" ones how could the world have changed time and time again? Inventions have appeared because someone had not been content with the speed of the horse cart, with the light of a torch, with the rules already established. It is the circle of life that the ex-criticizers become the new critique-es.

The right to speak your heart or to not be content is sold in our days, is renounced because people are entangled in circles. It kind of goes without saying that we should like the policies of the company we work for, its sympathies and its friends, or of the person who in a corrupt system manages to help us with a problem, or that we should adopt gradually the ideas that prevail in the city, neighborhood or family we are in. It's a big no-no to have an independent stand and sadly it is completely uninteresting for the other people. The disliker is not even raising curiosity, and the modern psychology took care of that by labeling this attitude as one of social failure and attributing dark possible reasons to it.

Sometimes I do not like my own outcome, sometimes the things others do. Some other times, I do not even like other specific people, and this is not out of rudeness, it is an educated dislike. And it is my right and the right of each of us. We kind of use it anyway, so why be hypocrite about it? Why pretend we are the number one fan of all and anyone whom we meet and fill ourselves with resentments meanwhile...

A healthy - expressed dislike has its own value and it is a way to be sincere and to part the water around us and see the path towards the ones we share opinions with, towards the ones whom we naturally like and we feel comfortable around because we can be ourselves in their presence.

Pentru prieteni de demult care nu vor citi/ For old friends who will not read this

What if words could express our thoughts without censorship? If the conversations, the real and sincere ones, the halves of conversation in our mind that are destined to our interlocutors would descend on the lips before we managed to lock them in that crowded place with dark locks named „common sense, manners, hypocrisy” ... Because after years of training, almost everything in our conversations is reflex hypocrisy.

I do not regret that I did not hurt others more with my words, by not putting the "naked truth" in front of people. Or sometimes I do regret, but that is not what I am speaking of now ...
I remember clearly in my mind some moments when I needed to say what is not usually said, the immeasurable curiosity to see how interlocutor's „locks” are blown away in response, even for a moment. Moments like those when one expects a rain after a doughty season.

Sometimes I took a step towards acting out those thoughts. I went back to some former friends (not romantic relationships, but friendships) after years have gone by to ask why „Why did we grow apart? Why did we fight for? What were you really thinking then?” I had a huge curiosity to find out at least now, when the anger was gone, what really happened. To find out the thoughts that were really there on the other side, in the past. To look back now, and warmly admit the true reasons, the true fights. I somehow longed for such answers to help me see myself clearer, to unblock something.
I have not yet achieved this with anyone. It's like trying to take out a book from the base of a pile, all the other books added after it in time are pressing it, holding it hostage. I clearly saw in their eyes that for a moment the truth was about to descend into words, then it was turned into a false oblivion, or indifference. „I do not remember, what are you doing now, let's not talk about the past, I am busy, come back next month” ...

Every such time people add stone of silence and solitude in the face of the world.

But what if I were to asked similar questions? Could I tell someone, even after years, that I hated one of his or her answers, or a look, or the fact that once in a coffee shop his or her coffee was foamier than mine? To admit and share the childish moment, the stupid little gesture that drove us apart?

Maybe I could try sometimes, if asked. If someone would guarantee a minimum of 100 words mandatory to exchange after such a moment of truth. If I opened my soul, however mean of a soul it would turn out to be, and then the person in front of me turned his/her back and went away, I could not bear it...

What if we were on a small island from where we cannot leave until we are honest with each other?


Cum ar fi daca cuvintele ar exprima gandurile, fara cenzura? Daca conversatiile reale si sincere, jumatatile de conversatie pe care le adresam in gand celor din fata noastra ar cobora pe buze inainte sa le oprim in acel loc aglomerat, inchis cu lacatul bunului-simt, politetii, ipocriziei…Caci dupa ani de antrenamente devine totul o ipocrizie reflexa.
Nu regret ca nu am jignit mai mult, ca nu am “trantit adevaruri” in fata. Sau cateodata regret, dar nu despre asta e vorba acum...
Dar am clar in cap momente in care simteam nevoia de a spune ceea ce nu se spune de obicei, si o curiozitate nemasurata de a vedea si la interlocutorul meu cum sare lacatul, macar pentru o clipa. Momente ca acelea cand astepti o ploaie dupa seceta si zapuseala.
Cateodata am facut un pas spre ele. Am revenit asupra unor foste prietenii (nu relatii sentimentale, ci prietenii) sa intreb dupa ani de zile de ce...De ce ne-am indeparatat? De ce ne-am certat de fapt? Ce a fost in capul tau atunci? Aveam o curiozitate imensa macar sa aflu, acum cand nu mai era manie sau suparare, ce a fost. Sa aflu parerea celeilalte parti. Daca macar privind inapoi, putem povesti despre adevarata cearta.
Inca nu am reusit asta cu nimeni. E ca si cum as incerca sa scot o carte aflata la baza unei gramezi, toate celelalte venite pe urma in timp o apasa si o tin prizoniera. Am vazut clar priviri in care pentru o clipa adevarul era gata sa coboare in vorbe, apoi ele se transformau intr-o falsa uitare, sau nepasare. Nu mai stiu, ce mai faci tu azi, hai sa nu vorbim despre trecut, cauta-ma luna viitoare...
De fiecare data cand ne regizam astfel adaugam inca o piatra de tacere si singuratate lumii.
Dar daca m-ar intreba ei pe mine? As putea sa spun cuiva, fie si dupa ani, ca nu mi-a placut o replica, o privire, faptul ca la o iesire cu prietenii a primit cafeaua cu mai multa spuma? Sa recunosc si sa povestesc momentul, fie el cat de copilaros, in care m-am indepartat?
Poate ca as incerca cateodata. „provided”, nah, ca imi vine cuvantul in engleza...daca ar fi garantat ca nu imi intoarce spatele in clipa urmatoare. Ca suporta, ca mai schimbam un minim de sa zicem 100 de cuvinte dupa...

Daca am fi pe o insula mica de unde sa nu putem pleca pana nu suntem sinceri unii cu altii?